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Halloween has come and gone yet we are living in a world of fear. There’s threat of disease and terrorism around every corner, the environment is in grave danger and economies are on the brink of destruction. So what better way of contributing to the world than with a pair of mega fast, mega powerful, and mega scary SUVs?

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There was a time long, long ago where BMW’s M Division made clear they didn’t want to have M versions of BMW’s SUVs or 7-Series as to keep the bloodline pure. That was a noble stand as Mercedes and Porsche already had super quick SUVs on the market. Then for some odd reason around the time the 2008 financial crisis hit, someone at BMW’s M division thought that was the best time for them to venture into this segment.

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Porsche already had great success with the Cayenne, which had a 525bhp Turbo S variant. Mercedes-AMG had a 500bhp+ ML63 and even Audi shoehorned a V12 TDI in the Q7. BMW had to respond and so the post-facelift second generation X5 and first-gen X6 were the first BMW SUVs to receive the M treatment. However there’s still no M7.

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The follow up to Munich’s mega monster trucks have been revealed ahead of a full LA Motor Show unveiling and they’re impressive machines on a gargantuan level. Powering these towers of power is an upgraded version of BMW’s 4.4-litre twin-turbo V8 as seen in the M5 and M6. Power is rated at 564bhp and 750NM of torque. That makes these two the most powerful SUVs in production, eclipsing the 550bhp Cayenne Turbo S and 560bhp ML63 AMG Performance Pack. The X5 M and X6 M tip the scales at 2275kg and 2265kg respectively. That’s a 30kg reduction from the previous model. Both cars get from 0-100 km/h in a frankly outrageous 4.2 seconds.

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Power is sent through BMW’s well renowned 8-speed auto gearbox. There’s even a system than send 100% of the power to the front wheels or to the rear. With this there’s also an electronic torque vectoring system, air suspension, and active roll bar stabilisation. Oh and what every SUV needs – a record around the Nurburgring. Of course as these are newer models they’re slightly more eco-friendly too. What’s that you say about Germans not having a sense of humour?

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Changes to the styling include a deeper and more aggressive front bumper, larger 20 or 21-inch wheels, flared wheel arches, a side vent, deeper sills, a sportier rear bumper, and of course quad-exhausts. Yes, quad-exhausts. One can only imagine the noise those things produce. Is there an appeal do these types of cars and if so, which one would you pick of the two? Or would rather one of their rivals? Or perhaps you’d prefer a super fast wagon instead?

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