I have a guilty secret. I stumbled across a car show on YouTube, and I love it. The name of the show? R U Faster than a Redneck. Yup, trashy American TV and oh so watchable.
The opening lines include statements like, “We’re going to show you that our red neck muscle cars are faster than out of the country not-from-America imports.”
And we aren’t talking straight line drags here – the competition is on a racetrack with actual corners – both left and right. And a competition it is, complete with a $10k prize if you can indeed beat a redneck on their racetrack.
“Next up is this nanny Joe, he came straight from the mall in a station wagon. What a set of ovaries on that guy.” Said car is a 2001 S4 Audi Avant, complete with twin turbos. Not too shonky and no ovaries required as far as I can see. The car they pick to race against him? A ’66 Chevy pickup. Needless to say, in this first round the Audi wins. “Ain’t gonna happen ‘gain.”
A guy rolls up in a Honda S2000 and easily drags off a ’67 Camaro. Classic line alert: Redneck; “yeah boy but our Camaro driver spun out!” Boy; “Yeah, but that after I had already passed him.” There’s no coming back from that. Burn, baby.
I won’t give away the final race, but the scripted lines from the show’s host are pretty funny.
Never have the words, “Only in America” been truer than on this show.