Some people like the Porsche 911, some don’t. That’s their choice. In the same way some people choose to be vegetarians or some choose to be Australian. For whatever reason there people out there who don’t like the 911. Some of these people instead, like SUVs that can put the 911 (and other sports cars) to shame.

Here’s a list of two-tonne behemoths with more power than a 911 Turbo (520hp/382kW) and will drink through the remaining oil reserves without hesitation. With oil prices at a low at the moment what better time to buy an unnecessarily fast and power SUV than now? So if you’re one of those people or just someone who likes irritating environmentalists these are the super tankers for you.

Bentley Bentayga
Bentley-Bentayga
Crewe’s first foray into the world of SUVs and they’ve gone straight for the title of “World’s Fastest SUV”. That’s a bit like being the world’s fittest hotdog eater. But still, this two-finger salute to Greenpeace is what all those people in the Panama Papers will be wanting to spend their hard earned (read hidden) cash on. Powered by a 6.0-litre W12 with two turbos, the Bentayga can reach its 301 km/h thanks to 600hp/447kW and 900Nm of torque. 0-100 km/h is done in a fraction under 5 seconds and will cost as much as house.

Mercedes-Benz G65 AMG
Mercedes-Benz-G65-AMG
Literally the answer to the question no one asked. A bi-turbo V12 powered G-Wagon. The V8 G63 AMG is perfectly adequate in showing off your status and wealth. The only reason anyone would get the ’65’ version is to feel superior to the commoners in the G63. Fair enough. At this end of the spectrum every little bit counts, even if it’s only two numbers better. The V12 in the G65 is the same that’s found in other ’65’ AMG Mercs meaning there’s 612hp/450kW and 1000NM of torque available. This is the super SUV I’d have.

Porsche Cayenne Turbo S
Porsche-Cayenne-Turbo-S
Perhaps the godfather of the super SUV, it’s only fair to include the Cayenne in this list. The Don of the Cayenne range is of course the 570hp/420kW, 800NM Turbo S. With all that power from its twin-turbo 4.8-litre V8, the Cayenne Turbo S can get from 0-100 km/h in 4.3 seconds. 4.3 seconds is what it took for a first-gen Lamborghini Gallardo to get to 100 km/h. The Turbo S also come with carbon-ceramic brakes as standard and Porsche are very proud to point out that it can lap the Nurburgring in 7:59.74 minutes. It can do the school run in much less.

BMW X6M
BMW-X6M
The BMW X6M just beats the Turbo S in the 0-100 km/h sprint but a tenth of a second. That’s thanks to a slightly more powerful 4.4-litre twin-turbo V8 engine pumping out 575hp/423kW, though torque is slightly less at 750NM. That said, the X6M does sport a “coupe-inspired” design to make it stand out from the slab-assed SUVs dominating the market. The X6 has proven so popular even Mercedes has gone and followed the trend. Rumour has it even Range Rover and Audi are thinking of doing the same too.

Range Rover Sport SVR
Range-Rover-Sport-SVR
Speaking of Range Rover, how could we not mention the fabulously obnoxious 550hp/404kW, 680NM Range Rover Sport SVR. Essentially, it’s got the 5.0-litre supercharged V8 from a Jaguar F-Type under the bonnet and the noise to match. It might not have the big power numbers to match the company it’s in but its 0-100 km/h time of 4.5 seconds is still quite an accomplishment. Not to mention the fact that the SVR could probably do that on any terrain. It’ll look at home on a ski field as it would parked outside a Louis Vuitton boutique. Now that’s range.

The new Jaguar F-Pace and Maserati Levante just miss out on this list because well, they’re not powerful enough. For now. Jag have hinted at a possible V8-powered F-Pace SVR. Fingers crossed for a 550hp+ version. The Maserati Levante, at launch, “only” comes with a pair of turbo V6s. While adequate, not quite enough to match the other SUVs on this list. When they put the Ferrari-sourced 3.8-litre twin-turbo V8 in it as seen in the Quattroporte, then we’ll talk. And let’s not forget about the upcoming Jeep Grand Cherokee Trailhawk. Said to come with with 707hp/520kW 6.2-litre supercharged V8 found in the Hellcat version of the Dodge Charger and Challenge, this super SUV is said to be able to do 0-100 km/h in just 3.5 seconds.

So it seems super SUVs aren’t going away anytime soon, even if oil reserves are. What’s your pick of the bunch?

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